Growth & Development/Feeding

Christopher currently weighs a little over 14 pounds. So far he seems to be a long and lean little guy. 3-month clothes are not tight around, but too short, so I've been on a bit of a shopping spree for him lately. Developmentally, he's got great neck and back control when held, and he's still figuring out the concept of sitting. He happily rolls from stomach to back as he hates tummy time, and he's rolled once from back to stomach when I wasn't looking. He can grab a toy with either one or both hands, and he just discovered a few days ago that he can grab his feet and, if unencumbered by clothing, can occasionally get one in this mouth. He coos very earnestly and laughs often - it's just magical.


Less than magical are some of our adventures and misadventures in breastfeeding, but thankfully, they are mostly resolved. Just before Thanksgiving, I came down with mastitis, and my milk supply took a dive. While I worked to get it back up, he got a lot of formula. It seems that he got used to the faster flow of a bottle (at least that's the most plausible theory after seeing his doctor and a lactation consultant) and became very frustrated when nursing. He would cry, scream, and arch his back a few minutes into every feeding. December was really difficult for us, and I almost weaned twice and emotionally beat myself up over it. Things finally got better somehow - I think it helped when I got a lot of support via Facebook from other moms I know and made a conscious effort to be kinder to myself and not feel like I would go to mommy hell if I formula-fed my baby. This and other experiences have proven to me that babies really do pick up on and mirror parents' tension.

In an effort to improve his sleep at night (a topic I'll save for later), we tried starting him or cereal just before Christmas at about 4 months of age. The effects on sleep were variable, but he loves the stuff, so we've been dabbling in solids ever since. The first feeding was, um, interesting...


He's really gotten the hang of it since then, and we've moved on to sweet potatoes and, starting yesterday, carrots. I could expound on what veggies do to his poop, but you might be trying to eat while you read this. Let's just say I've almost called in a biohazard crew for a couple of diapers this week.

Oh, one final milestone I want to mention - Christopher was baptized on January 11!

Growth & Development

He's growing. He's developing. More to follow. (Rough day.)

Baby notes:
-Regular social smiles & amusing vocalizations (Coooooo! A-oooooo!)
-Regularly sleeping for a 4-6 hour stretch each night.
-Getting a little better about naps (though today was a notable exception!)
-Prefers to be out & about to being at home...if he's crying as we get ready to go somewhere, he stops as soon as we get out the door.
-Still struggling with gassiness or some other source of pain while/after feeding...milk oversupply? Food allergies/sensitivities? (We're pretty sure that I can't drink cow's or soy milk or eat peanuts.I miss PB&Js.)

Mommy notes:
-Watching too much daytime TV while nursing.
-Managing to shower daily.
-Trying to manage expectations of self...not always doing this well.
-Still adjusting to the transition from full-time work (even though I stopped in June) to SAHMing. This is hard as hell sometimes. A lot of my identity was tied to my work, and that's gone now (or at least very much on the back burner). I intellectually know that what I'm doing now is an extremely important, worthy, and challenging job, but emotionally, it's hard not to buy into our culture's perception of being "just" a mom.

My Birth Story

Christopher was due on September 14, but he had other plans. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. on August 25 with what felt like intermittent cramps in my extreme lower back. After lying there for a while and pondering the possibilities, I got up to check the pregnancy books and determine whether I was experiencing prelabor contractions (which can happen days or weeks before labor) or the real deal. Alex woke up a little later to find me pacing the living room and downing massive amounts of water to see if that would relieve the discomfort. Nope.

More pacing, a hot bath, breakfast, and a half hour of contraction-timing later, I started making the phone calls: my doula, the birth center, my mom. It was definitely not time to go anywhere yet, but since nothing was alleviating the contractions, I was more and more convinced that I was in labor. I puttered around the house that day, did a little laundry, and otherwise tried to take it easy. The contractions got more uncomfortable and made getting a nap impossible. I talked to my midwife late that afternoon and described the contractions, and she told me to get on my knees and lean over some pillows to encourage Christopher to turn, because it sounded like back labor (baby facing he wrong way & putting pressure on the tailbone). Fun.

After leaning over an exercise ball through Wheel of Fortune & Jeopardy (nice distractions), the midwife called and told me to come on in and she'd check my cervix. Turns out I was dilated 4 centimeters at that point, so we settled in at the birth center for the night. I need a completely separate post to extol the virtues of the birth center, my midwife (Jill), and my doula (Tiffany), but one huge plus was being allowed to eat during labor. We'd picked up Zaxby's on the way, and I also downed a huge jug of Gatorade over the course of the night.

I'd read that women often lose sense of time during labor, and I did. The discomfort I'd been in all day got more and more intense, and I walked laps through the halls, leaned over a ball, etc., but the contractions weren't getting any closer together, and I couldn't seem to dilate beyond 7 cm. Jill wanted to break my water to move things along since I seemed to be stuck, and she said I could get in the birthing tub afterwards. I had been excited about using the tub since it seemed like it would be so much more comfortable.

Thing is, the contractions got very intense and very painful after my water was broken. I'm sure I was not a pretty sight. If Jill hadn't checked and told me that she could feel Christopher 's head, I was ready to sell my soul for some pain meds. If I'd known how much longer it would actually be, I would have definitely begged for them. Sometime in the tub, I started pushing during the contractions. Someone would give me a spoon of honey occasionally to help me keep my energy up, and I'm told that I got a little second wind with that. I had gone through Hypnobirthing training with Tiffany, and though I was nowhere near as tranquil as the women in the videos I'd watched, I tried to just go inside myself during the contractions, focus on the fact that they were bringing Christopher closer to me, and, not use any negative self-talk (the hardest part of it all, I think).

Things get a little fuzzy in my mind...the nurse helped me to the bathroom since I hadn't peed lately (remember all that Gatorade?), and I couldn't go. Nothing would happen. Jill had me lie on the bed for a while to push, and she twisted up a bed sheet, held one the end, and had me pull on the other end through the contractions while I pushed and Tiffany and Alex held my feet so that I would have something to bear down against. Apparently the top of Christopher 's head kept crowning, then slipping back in when I stopped pushing. His head was cocked slightly, which was a big part of the hold-up. He was also putting pressure on my ureter, which is why I couldn't pee, but my full bladder was in his way. Jill finally said they'd have to cath me.

I never thought I'd say this about a catheter, but that was the best thong to ever happen to me. I was in too much pain to even feel it, and maybe two contractions later, Christopher was born. Once his head was out, his body just slid out, and it was a feeling of physical relief I've never felt anything like in my life. Jill and the nurse immediately suctioned his nose and put him on my chest with some blankets, and here's the amazing thing: he didn't cry. He wiggled, he grunted, he looked around, he held onto my finger for dear life, but apparently he had nothing to cry about. That alone makes me so glad that I had a natural birth in a quiet, peaceful setting with minimal interventions, and though it was the most difficult thing I've ever done, I'd do it the same way again.

Last night we gave C his 1/2 mL of Zantac and put him down to sleep on a wedge baby pillow. I know I lay awake for at least an hour waiting for the nightly my-tummy-hurts meltdown.

Never happened.

I am a new woman.

More photos by request






Rough night last night...no one got enough sleep around here. We went to the doctor today & are treating for possible reflux...nothing dangerous, just painful for the poor little pumpkin.

On earning my mommy-blogger credentials...

I have a perfectly good excuse for not having posted for several weeks. His name is Christopher Patrick Tracy.


Life as I knew it was changed forever at 8:43 a.m. on Tuesday, August 26, 2008. (Life wasn't scheduled to change for another 3 weeks, but since when does life stay on schedule?)

The last four weeks have been an endless stream of nursing, changing diapers, nursing, attempting to calm the baby, nursing, re-reading the baby care books, nursing, laundry, and yes, nursing. Not so much sleep in there, you might notice.

Nothing I'd heard or read came close to preparing me for these four weeks. If you haven't been there, I could tell you how exhausting and all-consuming and emotionally roller coastery being the mother of a newborn is, but I doubt you'd believe me. I wouldn't have believed me.

The really crazy thing is that he's worth every bit of sleep deprivation, self-doubt, and confusion. From day one, something I'd never experienced before has felt so right. I am blessed.